#54 Abused As a Child, Adulterer As a Man, Couples Advisor As a Christian – Marcus Slaton Part 1
What happens to a man when he grows up with a void he can’t fill? Marcus Slaton was abused as a boy by a stepfather who didn’t know how to be a parent and a mother who was too weak to stop it from happening. He grew up to become a man who was searching for love; the void he couldn’t fill. This need led him down a very dark path.
“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us” – Ephesians 3:20
- Biggest Weakness – Marcus is really good at making things happen and leaving God out of it. Waiting on God is very hard for Marcus.
- Biggest Strength – The gift of encouragement. Marcus will always see the good in every person and situation.
- Dark Time – His father was away in the Air Force and Marcus’s mom cheated on him with the church priest. The priest named Norm was kicked out of the priesthood and married his mom. Marcus didn’t know his biological father growing up and that created a void in his life. Norm was an abusive man physically and verbally and while he was out cheating on his mom, Marcus’s mother was cheating on Norm at home.
- Eventually Marcus left the abuse and moved in with Stan and Elise and his mom and step-dad stopped talking to him. 2 years later his step- dad was in jail for hurting people while drunk driving. Marcus went to see him to say he loved him.
- At age 19 Marcus married his neighbor, but the marriage only lasted 9 months.
- Next Marcus got his medical license so that he could work with Norm in the eyeglasses and contact lens store. They developed a friendship there.
- One day Norm stood talking with a friend and had a heart attack. Marcus ran to do CPR, but he died. He was 51 years old and this was really hard on Marcus.
- Marcus began spending way too much money and met a girl in his tore that he then married 6 months later in Vegas. That marriage also lasted 9 months.
- His 3rd marriage was to a woman he dated for 2 years. 3 months after they married he found out she was a stripper and was having an affair with a couple.
- Marcus had an addiction to pornography starting when he was a child who found his stepdad’s collection. It set an unrealistic standard for he and his wife. It distorts reality and dishonors love and sex.
- The woman who exposed his 3rd wife’s affair, introduced him to his current wife Teri. They became friends and moved slowly, because he was afraid to tell her of his 3 marriages.
- Marcus married his wife in 1997 and they had a daughter, but that wasn’t enough to fill his void. He began to make bad decisions and started an affair with a personal trainer in his gym that lasted a year and a half. Teri suspected, but didn’t know of the affair for 8 months.
- Teri discovered the affair during the time they had been going to counseling. They decided to go to a marriage conference anyway and had a great time, which convinced Marcus to end his affair. Two months later he was back in the relationship.
- Marcus didn’t really understand what he was doing until he had to tell his daughter that he was going away. On the day he was going to show with divorce papers his daughter asked if he was divorcing her mom. He couldn’t do it. He also couldn’t handle the idea of his wife being happier with another man.
- Teri had a prayer closet where she would go every day to tell God why Marcus was so difficult to love and ask for guidance. God said “Love Marcus”.
- The past still creeps up in their marriage, but Marcus realizes that his wife needs the time to heal.
- Best Advice – Don’t go to an island when you’re having trouble. That is where Satan will go to tell his lies. You must have accountability and men around you who will tell you the truth. God hates pride.
- Recommended Book – “Finishing Strong” – Steve Farrar
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