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#62 Molested, Pornstar, Drug Addict: When Lost Men Come Home – David Zailer

  1. When a boy is molested at 8 years old and discovers pornography a few weeks later, he is at a high risk for living a dysfunctional and sinful life. David Zailer was a victim of molestation which led him to drug addiction and eventually performing in pornography films.  This is a powerful story of how David found God at age 40 and launched Operation Integrity, an organization dedicated to helping people find resources for recovery.“I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations.  At first I didn’t think of it as a gift and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that and then he told me My grace is enough; it’s all you need.  My strength comes into its own in your weakness.  Once I heard that, I was glad and let it happen.” – 2 Corinthians 12
    1. David grew up going to church for 3 to 4 weeks and eventually Gave up asking God for help.
    2. Biggest Weakness – Unbelief and Fear.  David grew up fearful, but ignored his feelings.
    3. Biggest Strength – David is not afraid to tell the truth.
    4. Dark Time – For the first 40 years of his life David could not remember a time of being happy.  His family kept many secrets, primarily his Dad’s and he learned later in life that someone who keeps secrets can not have intimacy.  David was diagnosed as mentally retarded as a child and lived like that’s who he was.
    5. At age 8 David was molested.  2 weeks later he found his Dad’s pornography collection and began an addiction that lasted 40 years.
    6. From being addicted to pornography, David started going to strip clubs where he discovered drugs and then the pornography industry.  Soon he was performing in porn and he was using the money for drugs.
    7. As a society we’ve compartmentalized sexuality to a point that it’s now a drug.  Women are actually catching up to men’s addiction to porn.
    8. When people are in pain because of trauma, they seek to medicate with an addiction.
    9. Making peace with the dark time is what opens the door for God to walk through.
    10. David was caught and arrested for drug possession 3 times in one week and faced years in prison.  He was spending $500 per day on cocaine and heroine.
    11. David said to God “Help me or I will die”.  He heard a voice say, “OK David, now I can go to work.”
    12. Advice – Don’t solve your problems on your own.  Don’t be embarrassed to express weakness.  Find like minded people to talk with about your truth.
    13. David’s Books “When Lost Men Come Home” and “Our Journey Home”


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